which one of these don't go together

Just because someone chooses to try anything to make something work, does not make them a better person than anyone else and does not necessarily mean the thing they are working on, SHOULD work. Sometimes there is much time wasted trying to jam that square peg into a round hole. How much of yourself should you change to make someone else happy? To what level of brainwashing should you subject yourself, with creams, and drugs, and books, and workshops, and conferences, and therapists (professionally trained or otherwise), to enable yourself to be satisfied with the life you live when maybe you are just resisting change that needs to happen?

Is it better to rip a bandaid off slowly? Is it worth it to try psycho quackery to help you feel better about decisions you make?

Is it right to throw something that's somewhat positive and comfortable and socially acceptable away? What if you came to know that there were terms that were not negotiable? And you would have to live with that if you stayed. You only have one life. Do you live a partial lie or do you live as you truly are, even if you lose most everything you have (and some of those really hurt and will hurt forever)?

But you end up gaining people and experiences that parallel and add to who you are deep down inside, the person you are discovering every day as you buck social norms and expectations. You are not what you wear, what you drive, how you should act for your age, how many children you have, what church you attend, what you do for your job, political affiliation, who you are married to, or how much money you have. Sadly, most people seem to judge what one's worth is based on those factors. Can one be blamed for conforming in order to be seen as worthy and allowed to advance in society?

just a small town girl...sometimes i wish...

...especially when it comes to getting something done that you know would be easy as pie if you went to high school with the people to whom you're talking or scouted with their kids. I've found in many cases (not all) that small town folks will engage in conversation with people from larger towns, and although pleasant and kind, they deep down don't like or trust them, but will *gladly* accept their money. In fact, will go after their money. Because they believe outsiders have more of it. IMHO. (Also a classic college town scenario with the students, when the university is one of the top employers in the area.)

Recently got a ticket in a small town on a charge I believe was minimal and ridiculous and should have been negotiable by the state's attorney's office. First one in 20 years. I tried in earnest to contact the state's attorney multiple times for assistance and hopefully some sort of deal to work out the fine, if there was no other choice but to pay. The answer was no, no, NO and "if you want to go to court, you will just pay more in court fees." So the answer is to shut up, write the check, and be on your way, city girl!

But one must remember that any money collected by the city pays the city's salaries so who you think might help you is always motivated by money. And if that money comes from you admitting guilt, whether you like it or not - agree with it or not, then they will never give you an opportunity to prove yourself different or provide other options.

Unfortunately I have had to travel through this town for the last 8 months or so to take care of leftover business from the ending of a relationship. I wish I didn't have to, but will most likely need to for a few months to come at the least.

When I scrape together some money for that ridiculous fine, I am composing a letter to send in to let them know I will no longer travel through this town (I will find a new route), purchase gas in this town, buy food in this town, nor solicit any of the businesses in this town. The fee paid for a ticket no one wants to discuss with me will cost the city far more than the ticket in the long run.

I'm sure it will fall on deaf ears, or go in the same circular file that all the other letters like mine have been placed, but better to voice an opinion than stay silent. At least they'll have something to entertain them while running to the bank with my check.

do what they told you

has a problem doing what people think is "best" for her. maybe she knows what she wants to do at the moment and while your suggestion is very nice and sweet, i don't feel like doing that right now, maybe for reasons that you don't know and didn't ask or don't matter to you even if you knew.

we don't always get to do what i want when i want, so, i have to deal with that. touche'. doesn't mean that you can't always suggest, but just know that we don't always get what we want. just do what you need to do. i will come around when ready.