Still here...
I'm still here. Been meaning to blog as I've had so many ideas to write about. At times I feel like I could write forever if I could just get my thoughts straight. I'm also feeling very politically incorrect lately and could hurt some feelings. In fact a lot of things I think now are very opinionated and mean. So I'm holding off til I get a little sunnier view of life. Ok, I have to vent a little.
A lot of it stems from living and working around people who subscribe to the traditional roles for men and women. It is unthinkable if one does not conform. I am growing tired of the endless stream of unsolicited comments coworkers, acquaintances and strangers make to me about how I should be living my life. I have even withheld certain information from people who I'd normally tell because I'm exhausted dealing with the friction.
People tell me I should have children because I would regret it if I didn't. I never tell them they shouldn't have had children because they are horrible parents, spoiling their kids, letting them get away with bad behavior and feeding them too much junk food. Letting them run around stores hitting others with random pieces of merchandise. Taking babies to movies at 11 pm. Buying teens brand new cars for their 16th birthday that are crashed the next week. Talking back to adults with a nasty mouth. I could go on. Then they wonder why the children become irresponsible adults.
Thankfully I haven't got the "you're being selfish" remark because that would be one they would never tell someone again after I got done letting them know how I feel.
I haven't taken the last name of my husband. A decision that we are both fine with, it's a total non-issue. However, this caused a near Armaggedon breakdown for other women around me. Among the comments that have been made: "you're lazy", "it is too confusing for others" and "you must not love him".
I have received just a handful of comments from men, all the countless others came from women. It's no joke that maybe women are where they are in society because many of them work so hard on peer pressuring others to fit the same mold.
You see it in families with mothers saying to their daughters or daughters in law, "I want to be a grandma." Or "when are you getting married, you should be married already."
I'm not saying that you can't be a success in career and in parenting, single or with a partner, but it's difficult. (From what I hear of course because as I've also been told, I have no idea whatsoever of what it's like to be a parent.)
I am happy with my decision to be childless by choice, keeping the name I was given at birth, and having a different agenda than the average woman my age. Even if that means at times people view me like I have an obscene facial tattoo and an ear sticking out of my forehead. My clock is not ticking even though I am told again and again it should be. Why aren't there more women out there encouraging other women to enjoy the lifestyle they choose? I can't remember the last time I heard someone say, "good for you" or a positive reinforcement. Not that I need it to feel secure but I wonder if ladies out there can sprinkle some sunshine in between the rain.
A lot of it stems from living and working around people who subscribe to the traditional roles for men and women. It is unthinkable if one does not conform. I am growing tired of the endless stream of unsolicited comments coworkers, acquaintances and strangers make to me about how I should be living my life. I have even withheld certain information from people who I'd normally tell because I'm exhausted dealing with the friction.
People tell me I should have children because I would regret it if I didn't. I never tell them they shouldn't have had children because they are horrible parents, spoiling their kids, letting them get away with bad behavior and feeding them too much junk food. Letting them run around stores hitting others with random pieces of merchandise. Taking babies to movies at 11 pm. Buying teens brand new cars for their 16th birthday that are crashed the next week. Talking back to adults with a nasty mouth. I could go on. Then they wonder why the children become irresponsible adults.
Thankfully I haven't got the "you're being selfish" remark because that would be one they would never tell someone again after I got done letting them know how I feel.
I haven't taken the last name of my husband. A decision that we are both fine with, it's a total non-issue. However, this caused a near Armaggedon breakdown for other women around me. Among the comments that have been made: "you're lazy", "it is too confusing for others" and "you must not love him".
I have received just a handful of comments from men, all the countless others came from women. It's no joke that maybe women are where they are in society because many of them work so hard on peer pressuring others to fit the same mold.
You see it in families with mothers saying to their daughters or daughters in law, "I want to be a grandma." Or "when are you getting married, you should be married already."
I'm not saying that you can't be a success in career and in parenting, single or with a partner, but it's difficult. (From what I hear of course because as I've also been told, I have no idea whatsoever of what it's like to be a parent.)
I am happy with my decision to be childless by choice, keeping the name I was given at birth, and having a different agenda than the average woman my age. Even if that means at times people view me like I have an obscene facial tattoo and an ear sticking out of my forehead. My clock is not ticking even though I am told again and again it should be. Why aren't there more women out there encouraging other women to enjoy the lifestyle they choose? I can't remember the last time I heard someone say, "good for you" or a positive reinforcement. Not that I need it to feel secure but I wonder if ladies out there can sprinkle some sunshine in between the rain.
posted by Kat at 7:32 PM
1 Comments:
I wish I could Kudos you. And slap these damn women that think a man and a child defines who they are!!!!
I laughed out loud at the part where you not telling the hags at work they are bad mothers for their poor parenting skills.
Hey people! Mind your own f'ing business! You want to tell me that I should have kids now because I'll regret it - well, you should have traveled the world and not gotten knocked up at 19 because you'll regret it!!!
Thank goodness God will let me ovulate into my 50's so I didn't have to rush to be a baby machine before I knew how to balance my checkbook. Morons.
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