Rollercoastin'

After sleepless nights and much anxiety and anticipation, the big appointment with the out of town "specialist" at the area's renown cancer center has come and gone. From what he said, I'm not out of the woods, but the verdict is out again on whether this tumor is what is it or not. Apparently one of the radiologists read my films wrong, one doctor did not order further testing when he should have, and you should always get many opinions when it comes to cancer. (Which I knew already and I'm glad that I'm doing.) Is this tumor what the doctors back home had originally suggested? Not likely the specialist said, based on my medical history and the basic testing I'd already had done. They can't completely rule it out without further detailed testing, which I will be doing this week. But the fact that they didn't admit me then and there, and that the specialist was pretty calm and didn't have an overwhelming sense of urgency, made me feel more relieved.

It was like a brick had been lifted, even if it is temporary, I am enjoying it. The past two days, I've slept like a baby, gone out to see friends, enjoyed the local fall outdoor events and had peace of mind. Felt normal. I was able to listen to music again, which I hadn't done since the original diagnosis.

The thing that kind of bugs me is that I would not have gone down this road had I not been persistent, nosy and overly inquisitive about my health and wellbeing. What if it was the worst case scenario and I had just taken the word of the doctor who brushed off the CT scan and said "we'll just monitor it" and never ordered further lab tests? Scary. I really fear for older people without relatives/caregivers or those who don't know what questions to ask, are afraid to ask, or just assume that "doc knows best."

You know you best, you know when something doesn't feel right or make sense, and you have to have an open relationship with your doctor where you feel comfortable asking questions, and they are willing to answer them and address any issues.

And I apologize for not posting since mid week but I was enjoying my weekend after 7 days of pretty high stress.

By the way, Ruby has recovered completely. She's still finishing out her antibiotics which is a real treat for her because she gets them mushed in with her favorite soft food. I've never seen an animal so excited to take meds.