which one of these don't go together

Just because someone chooses to try anything to make something work, does not make them a better person than anyone else and does not necessarily mean the thing they are working on, SHOULD work. Sometimes there is much time wasted trying to jam that square peg into a round hole. How much of yourself should you change to make someone else happy? To what level of brainwashing should you subject yourself, with creams, and drugs, and books, and workshops, and conferences, and therapists (professionally trained or otherwise), to enable yourself to be satisfied with the life you live when maybe you are just resisting change that needs to happen?

Is it better to rip a bandaid off slowly? Is it worth it to try psycho quackery to help you feel better about decisions you make?

Is it right to throw something that's somewhat positive and comfortable and socially acceptable away? What if you came to know that there were terms that were not negotiable? And you would have to live with that if you stayed. You only have one life. Do you live a partial lie or do you live as you truly are, even if you lose most everything you have (and some of those really hurt and will hurt forever)?

But you end up gaining people and experiences that parallel and add to who you are deep down inside, the person you are discovering every day as you buck social norms and expectations. You are not what you wear, what you drive, how you should act for your age, how many children you have, what church you attend, what you do for your job, political affiliation, who you are married to, or how much money you have. Sadly, most people seem to judge what one's worth is based on those factors. Can one be blamed for conforming in order to be seen as worthy and allowed to advance in society?